My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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