it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
