You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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