In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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