Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
