kristin has been a bad kristin
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
