I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
