I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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