He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
