that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize