i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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