very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
