Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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