I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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