new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
