Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize