Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
