i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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