So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
