My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
