Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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