my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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