dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize