In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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