Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize