Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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