I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Bring me that man meat
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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