They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
