she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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