can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
