think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
