I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
