you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
