I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How does one acquire holy water?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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