a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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