My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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