How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
