Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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