is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude. I can hear the air.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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