Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's never too late to be topless.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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