i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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