she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
