I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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