I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
