people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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