ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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