capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
