I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
