"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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