Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
two words...techno handjob
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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