I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
