How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
