You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Swine flu. Run for my life!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
