I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
