I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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