Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
