i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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