Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Welp...herpes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
