There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
