Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
