tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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