honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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