just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
