sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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