what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
