It's like God shit irony all over that family
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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